I know the sound of a heart breaking because three years ago, I lost someone incredibly close and dear to me. By God's grace, my family and I have navigated through our grief, though it has been especially challenging because children grieve differently from adults. They feel something profound but often can not pinpoint it. It manifests physically for them—some days they can not eat, other days they can not keep their food down, and sometimes they feel sick without any apparent cause.
People say it takes double the years plus one to get over the loss of a loved one, to manage the pain and the waves of grief. I do not know how true that is. All I know is that today, all the emotions have come flooding back. I have learned to let them sway me, because fighting them only makes it harder. "Feel it to heal it" has become my motto, and it has helped me so far.
I miss my baby. She would have been turning five this coming Friday. We would have been so excited to celebrate her birthday this weekend. But that dream and longing will be carried away by the wind in the days to come.
This morning, I had a conversation with someone I love dearly. She encouraged me with the thought that Wema is well and happy, and she surely is looking forward to us reuniting someday. She reminded me not to wallow in pain and sorrow, knowing that a day will come when I will see her again. Those words will keep me going through these difficult four days. It is well, and it will be well.
Navigating grief is not a walk in the park—it never will be—and it is not something you can do alone. Only God can heal and restore a broken heart. He is perfect in ensuring you receive complete healing.
Navigating Grief involves:
1. Allow Yourself to Feel: Suppressing your emotions can prolong the pain. It is important to let yourself feel the grief, the sadness, and the loss. Accepting your emotions is the first step towards healing.
2. Seek Support: Do not try to navigate grief alone. Reach out to friends, family, or support groups who can offer comfort and understanding. Sometimes, just having someone to listen can make a significant difference.
3. Create Rituals of Remembrance: Finding ways to honor your loved one's memory can provide solace. Light a candle, create a scrapbook, or dedicate a day to their memory. These rituals can offer a sense of connection and peace.
4. Take Care of Yourself: Grief can take a toll on your physical health. Ensure you are eating well, getting enough rest, and finding time for gentle exercise. Self-care is crucial during this time.
5. Be Patient with Yourself: Healing from grief is not a linear process. There will be good days and bad days. Allow yourself the time and space to heal without imposing unrealistic expectations on your recovery.
6. Express Yourself: Whether through writing, art, or talking with someone, expressing your feelings can be therapeutic. It helps in processing the grief and finding a way to move forward.
7. Find Meaning: Engage in activities that bring you joy or give you a sense of purpose. Sometimes, finding a way to give back or help others can be a powerful step in healing.
8. Trust in the Process: Trust that with time, the intense pain will lessen. Grief is a journey, and while it may never fully go away, it becomes a part of your story, shaping you in new ways.
Grieving is a deeply personal experience, and there is no right or wrong way to do it. The most important thing is to be kind to yourself and allow the healing process to unfold in its own time.
With Love,
Muthoni
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