Stay Hopeful

In December 2021 we took a beautiful portrait. Just the 4 of us. Cleo, Jaden, Wendo and I. If in that particular time I would have been told me that our family as we had come to know- and accept in those few months would change I would have called you crazy. In fact I was mad at a few people for consistently telling me that God had another plan baking. 

When you are used to a lot of change you stay woke. Try hard to hold on to something familiar. Hope is definitely (or was) never familiar for me. I have avoided to stay hopeful just in case things do not work out my way. I have played safe so many a times. 

Some time in July 2021, we got Covid. I was pretty sure I would die because that thing is no joke. Funny thing is everyone in our house who was an adult caught it thanks to Mr.Cleo 🤭 but the kids were as healthy as they could be. In those 2 weeks my prayer 🙏 was that I recover and get back to life. Covid had a way of rendering you useless, mostly helpless. You can not seat for long, walk for long or do much work. Breathing 😮‍💨 is hard, talking and keeping up with conversation was difficult. In that state we still managed to take good care of this little people and make sure they were comfortable, it must have been by God's grace.

After recovery ❤️‍🩹, we would take walks with Jaden and Wendo a lot. So one day during these walks the Litu lady blurted out “ Mum we should now have another baby”. We stopped and looked at each other-(Cleo and I) Shocked.  I have heard stories of God using children to speak to adults…maybe because at times we are too stubborn to listen to Him... But never had He used any of mine to speak to me. So in that moment a seed was planted in me and it began growing from September 2021. It became a thought that kept crossing my mind every once in a while. My heart ❤️ was not ready, my mind was not ready but deep within I knew God would carry me through it. 

In January of 2022 during prayer and fasting , I locked myself in my room one Wednesday morning and prayed to God- I cried to Him- I shouted at Him. I asked Him for healing- my body, my spirit -and my mind. I asked for healing so loud God had no choice but to grant it… I felt the weight of grief and pain lifted away. All the anger and pain I had been carrying was taken away. I was free. Finally free. 

The natural thing after that was to pray for a baby😃. We prayed for a baby. We wrote down what we wanted for that baby and in that baby. We asked God and then He heard us and answered us. 

So on the 4th of April 2022 very early in the morning before I left for work I received the best news. We were going to have another member of our Family. We were elated and scared 😱 but mostly 😃 happy. 

In that journey God taught me Hope. To stay hopeful at all times. Keep faith alive. He is at work, He knows what He is doing and it’s a good thing. It may not look like it, but it definitely is a good Thing. 

Love always,

Muthoni Muange